Reply to yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir... VENT

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I honestly don't understand the nannies on this board who seem to have an issue with having an employer and that a job means following the employer's wishes.

Seriously, it is her child and she has the absolute right to have preferences on how to care for that child and expect the nanny to follow her directions.

That doesn't give her an excuse to be rude, but nearly all the responses on this thread make no mention of that. This is just another MB bashing thread merely because she has directions she expects her employee to follow.

I don't get it and reading the hatred you all have for MBs, I wonder why you bother to be in the childcare field. You all sound absolutely horrid.[/quote]

OP here.  I have no issue whatsoever with "following the employer's issues".  I have an issue with being asked my opinion/advice on something and then MB directly contradicting me.  Let me give you and example - and this is basically word-for-word:

MB:  "Larla [her Facebook friend with a severe eating disorder] switched her daughter to nonfat milk.  Do you think that is something we should do with Baby [who is 20 months old]?

Me:  No.  The American Pediatric Association recommends keeping a baby on whole milk for the first two years.  And so many of the vitamins in milk are fat-soluable so Baby won't get those nutrients with nonfat milk.

MB:  I'm going to try it anyway.

Of course she has the right to do whatever she thinks is best for her baby - so why bother to ask me?!  If feels very dismissive to be actively asked your opinion - and then discard it with no reason given except that it is what you want to do.  This has been happening with virtually everything lately.  If you feel this is the correct way to handle an employee then you and I simply need to agree to disagree.

And to the PP who thinks I am only in it for the "fun stuff"...  That is simply nonsense.  I care for him every single day to the very best of my ability.  Because of my experience and education, as well as my gentle consistency, my charge sleeps, eats, behaves and learns well for the entire time I am with him.  I know what I am doing and I love doing it.  I don't consider story time or classes "fun stuff" but I am happy to do it as those classes are in my charge's best interest.

And to those who think that loving my charge isn't enough of a reason to stay...  That is my only reason.  I cannot defend or explain it beyond my devotion to him and his well-being.  Of course he will love his next nanny and of course I will love my next charge.  But right now staying with this charge feels like the right thing to do for me.

This was clearly labeled as a VENT.  [/quote]

I'm the PP you're quoting here. This was my only post on this thread, so the other responses tacked on are not me and I think there are definitely some trolling posters here. Also, you're right. This is clearly a vent and you absolutely have the right to vent, even if me, and others, think the vent is based on incorrect assumptions.

You have a point when you wonder why bother asking your opinion if she isn't going to take it. That is frustrating. It also happens every day in every job and that's what it means to have a boss. Your problem is that you're getting yourself all worked up because you are certain you're smarter than your boss...and the reality is, it doesn't matter. She's still the boss and has the final say and you either have to find a way to live with that or move on.

My boss asks my opinion on work matters a dozen times a day. Sometimes, she does as I suggest, sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes, I'm certain that I have more knowledge and experience in the subject and I get silently annoyed when she doesn't listen to me. I love my job, I'm very proud of the work I do, and when I think she is creating more work or going in the wrong direction, it is annoying. But that's the working world and I just need to deal with it...or get a new job. Like you, I don't want a new job. Sometimes, when I'm very lucky and the boss sees the problem in ignoring my advice, I get an apology or acknowledgement. Sometimes, not.

The nanny field really isn't any different than other fields. It feels different because you love your charge. I get that. I may love my job, but my job isn't caring for a great kid.

I was a little harsh with you in my first post and I'm sorry. I get frustrated by threads that seem so hateful towards MBs and so ignorant about what it means to have a boss. Bosses can be frustrating, absolutely. But they are usually not horrible people and when I read threads bashing MBs as terrible people, it's really unfair.

You are correct that we may need to simply agree to disagree that it's ok to ask an employee's opinion and not take it. My point is that it doesn't matter if it's ok, it is what it is.

Honestly, I hope your situation gets better and that you can find reasons to stay in a job you apparently love.[/quote]

OP here and THANK YOU SO MUCH, PP.  For your apology and your advice.  I have never read an apology - ever - on DCUM and am very, very impressed and grateful  Thank you.

My MB is tough - there is no getting around that - but it my choice to stay in this job and I have to find a way to make it work.  What I was venting about is the fact that she actively seeks my advice/opinion only to turn around and discount it without reason.  I have to learn to simple let it go.

Again, thank you.  
[/quote]

This is the first apology I've seen on DCUM from a parent, to a nanny.  To the MB, I applaud you.  I recently had to leave a situation which in my mother's words, we were simply "diametrically opposed". Without a doubt, I loved that baby, but it was a terrible, terrible,  fit.  Prior to this, I'd  never left a job, but my stress level has improved drastically.[/quote]

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