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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I got a response this morning. I talked to her and I apologized. I took your advice and told her she will never see my father again. He's kind of a jerk - already fat shames my mom and my SIL. I didn't think he would do it to our nanny. She has agreed to come back. We are excited.

DH is not fat shaming her. He spouts off things in general, not just weight. He's never commented on her weight. It's things like " you should eat this. It had so many antioxidants". You should "eat this - it's healthier". DH is a good guy and wouldn't purposely hurt her or anyone else's feelings. [/quote]

I have a DH who is similar.  The thing is, him being a good guy and not wanting to purposely hurt anyone's feelings doesn't excuse the spouting off.  If someone is lacking that filter, they need to learn to have one.  I get that they mean well, but that is still no excuse.  Ultimately, it is no one's business to tell another to "eat this" for any reason.  That's crossing a boundary that he needs to learn.  I used to make excuses in my mind when DH was this way.  Then I noticed it was putting people off, and I realized it's pushy and rude because it crosses that boundary, even if it's meant in a good way.  I started talking to him about it after that.

In addition, you have to remember that this is an employer/employee dynamic!  This is very different than family or friends.  If a friend said "eat this, it's healthier for you", I'd be less affected or offended than if a boss said that.  When a boss says anything to me, there is a feeling like you should comply because it's my boss.  It's harder just to blow it off, and it already feels wrong and pushy, so then it feels more so because it's my boss.  Totally not cool.  He should have even more of a filter because she is an employee.    [/quote]
Exactly if my boss told me to eat grapefruit because it is so wonderful for me I would be upset. I really hate grapefruit. But I want to always do as I'm told by my boss. I can't just disobey my boss even over grapefruit [/quote]

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