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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is grandma stepping in? Is the nanny getting flustered and saying "I can't do this - you do it" or is your mom jumping in when it is difficult? Your mom needs to not jump in - at all - even if it has been awhile. She can offer suggestions of what works for her, but if she jumps in, all that is happening is your nanny is going to feel more and more like she can't figure it out (and that it is being reported back to you), and your child WILL start to favor your mom as she gets older.

My daughter wouldn't take a bottle from my own husband when I was transitioning back to work, if I was there. She'd nurse or take a bottle from me, but not him. He would get frustrated, I would get frustrated, I'd jump in. I finally just left (because I had no choice) and the first day sucked, and then they figured it out and it was fine. (He came up with the idea of giving her a bottle in the bath, which was where she was most relaxed anyway, and then once she realized it wasn't so bad she just took it any time.)[/quote]

Nanny was getting flustered and looking to my mom for help. My mom does try to give her suggestions on what has worked for her to calm down the baby (without taking her) - a particular hold or a place so that the nanny can try it. I know she will take over if it is not working for a nanny and the baby is screaming her head off. I have asked her to not jump in the next few days so that the nanny can figure out what works with her and the baby. Contrary to what most people on this forum seem to think - I am not looking for support to fire my nanny - but trying to figure out if the lack of bonding is due to time or the nanny not trying. I am going to give my nanny more time - though I still don't believe that just my mom's presence somehow prevents the nanny from doing her job. [/quote]

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