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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am really surprised by the responses on this thread.  I think the Center Director has hit the nail on the head - OP's younger child may be more difficult but that doesn't mean she is spoiled or the favorite (and three is also typically just a difficult age!).  However, it is the nanny's job, as a professional caregiver, to treat both kids equally and find ways to handle their distinct personalities and manage them both appropriately and lovingly regardless of whatever phases they may be going through - especially since she has known both since birth.  OP didn't say the nanny had approached her with specific behavioral issues and constructive solutions - she said her nanny complains about the younger child.  I would have an issue with that as well.  Kids are not idiots - they pick up on these attitudes and behave accordingly.  My kids are like OP's but in reverse.  My older one (also three) is strong willed and challenging.  And also smart, funny, precocious, and has the ability to be totally charming or a total terror as the mood strikes.  The baby (at least so far) is easy breezy goes along with whatever.  We had a sitter once who clearly preferred the baby and did something similar to OP's nanny - fawned over the baby while not focusing on older DC when an incident had happened to both.  I could see my older DC watching the entire thing unfold and DH and I both registered the sadness and frustration he was feeling, although someone who knew him less well may not have picked up on it.  I was not surprised to hear the sitter later report older DC had spent the day bouncing off walls and not listening to her. He was just reacting to the way she started off the day - it set the tone for everything thereafter (and he's three so he is not yet able to maturely process his feelings).

[b]That said, OP - I am always relucatant to replace someone without trying to fix things first (and giving a few chances) so I'd start with several specific constructive conversations with your nanny about the issues and how you propose she resolve them before you move ahead to more extreme measures.[/quote][/b]

I agree that  nanny and OP need to talk,but I don't think the onus is entirely on the nanny to "fix" things. As the old saying goes there are 2 sides to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth.
I think both sides need to be open to hearing from the other side and both work to resolve things if anything is going to be resolved.[/quote]

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