Reply to Where is this mythical nanny who is never on her phone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]LOL because NONE of these moms ever spend time on their phone while they're supposed to be taking care of their kids, right?[/quote]

Nannies are not substitute mothers.  It makes no difference to me if my MB spends every waking second of her weekend texting -- I am not her.

I only text/talk during my lunch break when the kids are asleep.  I hate seeing nannies and mothers on their phone constantly when I am out with my charges.  [/quote]
What makes you think a primary caregiver nanny isn't a substitute mother?[/quote]

"Mother" is a relationship.  A life-long relationship.  "Nanny" is a job.  A job with a limited time frame of the early years only.  [/quote]
Thoughtful Mothers *hope* that Nanny is also a relationship. If Nanny and your child aren't in a firm relationship, you have big problems ahead. Mark my words.[/quote]

OF COURSE, nannies should have loving and nurturing relationships with our children - but that does not make them pretend mothers/substitute mothers!  My nanny and DS are very bonded but she doesn't feel that she is his substitute mother and neither do I.  Our relationships with my child are very different.  [/quote]
If she's providing the care of your child more of his waking hours than you are, then she's very much serving as his substitute mother. There's no getting around simple facts. Sorry.[/quote]

So do daycare teachers - they spend more awake time with your child than a working mother - are they substitute mothers?  What about a male nanny? Is he a substitute father or a substitute mother?  I raised my step-daughter and I was/am her step-mother, not her mother or substitute mother.  Because someone does most of the same things as another does not redefine who they are.   
And those really are the simple facts.  Sorry.  [/quote]

+ I agree.  Nannies are not and never should be viewed or thought of as "substitute mothers".

"Just because you have been to a bris doesn't make you Jewish." [/quote]
You're right. Mothering a child is a biological relationship, not an actual thing you do. It makes no difference how far apart mother and child are, or how often.[/quote]

On one level, just giving birth entitles you to motherhood. On another level, however, it's near impossible to be actively engaged in the art of mothering from behind your desk 40-50+ hours a week. You therefore get a nanny who requires your constant direction (in between conference calls) so you can FEEL in control.[/quote]

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