Reply to How to explain to 4 year old nanny isn't coming back

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child 
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road, 
will be much more costly to you, 
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

[/quote]
I've been around long enough to see this happen more than once. 
You haven't?[/quote]

How exactly have you been around long enough to see this?  You've seen lots of children who had multiple nannies at a young age who you're still in touch with 20 to 30 years later to see signs of mental instability and excessive therapy resulting directly from the fact of having multiple NANNIES at said young age?  Read studies (again, specifically about nannies??)?  Honestly this beaten to death fallacy is one of the reasons this board has become such an unproductive place.  Children in every circumstance have multiple caregivers in addition to their parents - relatives, nannies, day care teachers (who change regularly), etc., and caregivers change in many situations - nannies move on, children graduate day care classes, grandparents find themselves unable to care for the kids anymore, families move.  Things happen and kids turn out fine.  Attachment disorders and resulting therapy are more closely linked to a lack of love and intimacy for a child from all sources  - the situation where a child has stable parents and/or guardians but multiple other caregivers is NOT the same.  Nor can you extrapolate that having multiple nannies at a young age means a child is not getting love and intimacy from his or her parents or guardians. But feel free to find an actual scientific study using actual scientific methods to proving me wrong.

All of this is not to say that OP's child is not having legitimate feelings of missing her old nanny.  OP - I'd suggest trying to talk to her about what she misses and encouraging her to articulate her feelings.  Her sadness will pass and she'll bond with the new nanny and be fine.  [/quote]
Classic example of parental denial. Thanks.[/quote]

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