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Reply to "how many nannies is too many for a child? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good lord. Soooo much drama. Your kids will be fine, except that you're very dramatic. You had a nanny leave after two years and you're "disappointed that you trusted her with your children's hearts and she behaved like a callous retail employee"?!?! Jeez. Your kids will have issues, but not because a nanny left.[/quote] Yes that does sound pretty melodramatic, it is really funny to read. But at the same time, I expected more from her. Clearly we have different expectations, and that is okay. [/quote] It's totally fine and acceptable to be annoyed and disappointed that she is leaving when you didn't expect it. It's also fine to complain about it on DCUM (just know that because it's DCUM you will get all sorts of nasty comments in addition to those who sympathize). It's just the melodrama about your children's hearts that are making people question you. But glad you can see the humor in your melodrama. Eventually the disappointment and irritation will wear off but in the mean time it's ok to complain.[/quote] I do see the humor in my melodrama. But my kids are not taking this lightly. This woman was really part of our family, or so we thought. She was play-acting. I think she really manipulated us for all that she could, and when she got to the end of the line, she left without a minutes' notice. She was part of our emotional fabric, and I guess the true lesson is one that we have learned, in terms of not setting those boundaries better ourselves. I think that is actually what I have been reacting to, disappointment in my own ability to protect my children from someone who was unreliable. And while DCUM is full of bat-sh(*$ crazy, it is also full of the straight truth. And I feel like I figured out the problem here, which was just how much we loved her, and trusted her, gave her... Make fun of me all you want. I am just watching my kids' form emotional scabs, and it hurts. They are so raw with loss. I don't care what anyone says. [/quote] Hugs to you, OP. I write this as a nanny who has left behind a piece of my heart with every child I've cared for. The eventual separation is the meanest part of my work. I wish more parents were like you, sensitive to the bond established. Shattered bonds aren't good for anyone.[/quote] Thank you, you sounds like someone who truly cares. I wish we had worked with someone who gave a damn.[/quote] OP, you need to work this issue out before you go forward hiring any more nannies. Leaving a position for one that pays more (regardless of what your personal opinions are about her financial need) does not mean your nanny did not give a damn. It's still a job, at the end of the day, and she is allowed to move of. It sounds like there was more at play here that you are not either aware of or letting on about. Regardless, if you think everyone that leave your family (especially after 2 years!) is a horrible, thoughtless and deceitful person, you are going to be in a world of hurt time after time. Perhaps you are just not a good candidate to employ a nanny...try looking at yourself first next time. [/quote] Am not OP, but I will say, you don't seem to grasp to full picture here. Just my observation.[/quote] Oh no, I grasp the picture. OP gave few details other than that her nanny left (EVEN though she didn't NEED to make more money because her rich husband supported her, the nerve) and now her children are traumatized. Something in her story is conspicuously lacking, and I am merely pointing out that perhaps the missing puzzle piece is self-reflection on OPs part. The melodrama of this whole thread is absurd, and the fact that everyone is coddling OP and making assumptions about her nanny with NO information speaks volumes (as usual) to the crowd here. [/quote] OP here. What is conspicuously lacking is any information from the nanny! We have no idea why she left. I don't think she was underpaid - 33k. She is a college student. We paid her to study during breaks. We asked her to do nearly nothing for several hours of the day. I think it is over-entitlement. In any case, we will never know. Judge me all you want. All I was saying is that some jobs are not just jobs, that's all. We deserved better, and were blindsided. There is no amount of self-reflection that would have improved this. Yes there are big pieces of the story missing... for us as well. Why don't you ask my children where she is, and why? [/quote]
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