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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the advice. I can definitely limit the Saturday nights to once per month. But do you think twice a month of a few Saturday daytime hours are ok? 
It's one of the main reasons we are switching from a nanny to an au pair (the big kids have sporting events, and the baby will have to nap), so if that is a recipe for bitterness, I wonder if we are not a good fit. 
[/quote]

New Poster here. I use 3 Sat nights almost every month.  It's never been an issue because:

- I made it very clear upfront in the matching process
- I'm flexible about getting the au pair's input on which weekend is the off-weekend and about additional time off when a special event arises
- My au pairs who liked to go out would usually go out at 11 or so when we'd get back (which is when they would go out anyway)
- For my less party-centric au pairs I always invited them to have a a friend over (or a few, or her boyfriend which is the case with my current AP) with them for Sat night so they could hang out after the kids go to bed
- I'm (considered) a really good host in just about every other area.  For example, I've had au pairs' close friend or two sleep over nearly weekend; I allow my au pair to have her boyfriend stay over; I took invited my au pair's (visiting) parents to join us on our vacation and they stayed with us on our vaca rental.

I've always asked my AP candidates to talk to my former au pairs so they could get a sense.  I wanted to get an au pair who wanted to family who would make them really feel like part of the family and would give that more weight than working Sat nights.  It's ok that that's not all for all au pairs, but it's led to EXCELLENT matches for our family and very close looooong lasting bonds.

The point is that there are no hard and fast rules about what makes a good host family beyond be honest and considerate, make sure your AP candidates know all the "bad" before matching, and generally be a good person to her.[/quote]

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