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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you for your long reply :)

The kid has a habit of kicking me on the leg when he gets home and says "hi ...", mistaking my name on purpose ... and he did kick me too in front of his parents and they were laughing ... inside I was very angry :(

I understand what you say about the program and I guess I was expecting too much when I got here and that my reaction to their leaving without me sounds immature and selfish from me.

I'm sad that they chose not to include me, and it's hard for me to move on because the other things that are not ok have added to each other.

It's hard for me to get out at night because I'm done at 9.30pm after I put the kid to bed and most au pairs, who are not close by either, go out earlier than that.
So I'm not included in their plans and I understand that.
Sometimes I go out to the mall by myself or to borders to check stationary and books and drink some coffee by myself.
So there are evenings that I'd be happy to watch some tv. Just like anybody else :)

About being tired, I didn't get over the jet lag yet and I take naps during the day because I am bored/depressed/tired. I know I should stop taking these naps to feel better.

My decision is taken and I will leave this family. There's not much left from the sympathy I had for them before my coming and when I got here, right now I'm just angry and want to move on.
I'll let you know how it goes :) Thank you.[/quote]

I'm the PP that posted the long response.  It does sound like this is not a good family match for you.  I think maybe you're realizing that them leaving you on the Mexico trip was not really the main problem, but rather one small part out of many issues you are having.  I completely agree with you that working every night until 9:30pm means you're going to have a tough time making friends and I personally don't think that's a reasonable schedule for an au pair.  It is absolutely not ok for your host child to be harming you and your host parents should 100% make sure that doesn't happen.  Seriously if the host kid is kicking you and the host dad laughs, you need to leave.  Your LCC should be completely supportive on that and you should be clear that THAT is why you want to leave.  To make sure I'm clear, if you tell them you want to leave because you "don't feel like they are treating you like a family member" after only a month, or because they want you to use the family TV, or because you're in the suburbs, or because they didn't take you to Mexico - you will have a really really hard time finding another family.

I think I was being a little over-the-top about the TV thing and getting out of the house - of course you'll need a break sometimes too.  But especially in the first few months you need to work HARD to make sure you're not making the easy choices.  When you're homesick and jetlagged, it's easy to just want to stay home and nap or watch TV.  Remember though that your first few months are going to make or break your year.  I have a lot of respect for au pairs - at 22 or so, I would never have been able to put myself out there as much as you all have to do in that first few months just to make some friends.  It is really difficult.  But you have to do it or you will be miserable all year.  I think maybe trying to shift some of your focus off of the family treating you completely like one of their own might help - shift that need for belonging and support out into making some good friends in your cluster and getting out to know the city.  Presumably any family - even the nicest, most fair family ever - is going to be super busy with their own jobs and kids and house and is not going to be able to fulfill all your needs to belong.  That's where you're going to have to make the effort to make the most of your year.[/quote]

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