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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This isn't just an au pair situation. When live-in nannies or au pairs share in family meals then they share in the prep and clean up. In most live-in nanny situations and all au pair situations room and board is included which includes meals. This doesn't mean that the MB prepares separate meals for the live-in or au pair, serves them and cleans up after them. It means that the live in or au pair is invited to share the family meals and they share in the work responsibility. [/quote]

The final gist is- if you want to eat the food your HP prepares then you need to help clean up.  If you don't want to help with dinner clean up, then wait until they are done eating and make your own dinner (which you will then need to clean up from anyway).  But don't expect me to cook for you and then walk away expecting me to clean up after you too.  Not gonna happen.[/quote]

I don't think anyone is suggesting that AP should eat with the family but offer no help. The issue is that some families make it an expectation that she will eat with the family, help with the kids while dinner is made, and clean up after, all without pay. What many posters have said is, that no matter how you dress it up, it is work for her and after a long day at work she very well may just want a pb&j in her room and not have to worry about "helping". She may eat with you once or twice during the week, but she may not be up to it every night, and I feel like if she isn't being paid you can't require it of her nor should you be surprised or annoyed when she doesn't. [/quote]

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