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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While I think 12:34's sarcasm may have been a little over the top, her point is solid.  APs just really need to be clear and consistent on what they want.  It is completely 100% fine (assuming they presented this at match) if they don't want to be part of the family and would rather be treated like an employee.  There are host families looking for that.  But being an employee doesn't mean working your day, then going upstairs while your host mom cooks dinner, then coming downstairs to eat the dinner your host mom cooked, putting your plate in the sink and running back upstairs.  It means you make your own dinner then.

This is not addressed on this thread, but there are also plenty of stories I've heard from au pairs who complain they are not being "treated like a member of the family" with regards to benefits to them - like being asked to come on vacation or out to dinner - but then aren't willing to act like a member of the family when it involves, say, taking 30 minutes to sit and chat with the host family during dinner.  It goes both ways.  [/quote]

You are making a pretty big assumption that it DOES go both ways. It so often doesn't. If the only way you include your AP in being a member of the family is when there is work to be done, can you really be surprised so many of us want nothing to do with it? Families go on vacation and leave APs home, they fail to recognize their birthdays, they bitch and moan about visitors, they're stingy with car use, but of course when there is work to be shared or it'd be nice to have an extra adult "family member", then yes the program is definitely about cultural exchange....  :roll: [/quote]

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