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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't keep a nanny who had a problem with this or wanted extra pay because my 10 year old has a well-behaved friend over every day.  By the age of 10, most kids have a best friend from the neighborhood who becomes a daily companion.  Although reciprocity is nice, at 21:47, the OP said that her charge is not allowed to play at the friend's house because he has asthma and the friend lives with a smoker.

The nanny needs to check with her employer to see how they want her to handle trips away from home when the 10 year old has his friend over.  Personally, I would probably say that I'd prefer her to stay around the house because the ten year old is not going to want to leave his friend to go to a playground with his nanny and younger siblings.  In other words, accommodating the friend is part of caring for the 10 year old, which is itself part of this particular job.
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Wait, what? The younger kids should miss out on trips to the playground so the 10yo can play with the friend he sees every day?

I don't believe you're a parent.[/quote]

Yes, I am a parent.  Yes, I view the ten year old's play needs, which include downtime with friends at home, as being just important as those of the babies.

The nanny is presumably with the infant and toddler all day while the ten year old is in school.  So, at least during the school year, the ten year old's friend should only be an issue in the late afternoon.  If this is really about the kids and not about the nanny feeling like she should have unfettered autonomy, I see no reason why the nanny can't arrange her schedule so that playground and baby activities take place during school hours and at home play comes in the after-school hours.  Now, depending on what camps the ten year old has planned, summer may require some sort of scheduled limitations on the friend's presence.  But again, the parents need to be involved in working out a schedule that accommodates age-appropriate activities for all three kids, including the ten year old's at-home play with his friend.[/quote]

Ah, I see what you're saying.

I still disagree, because I work 7-7 and let me tell you, if we couldn't get out of the house at 3/4pm those last few hours of the day would be hell for everyone, not just me. And I don't think it's fair to say that this nanny's job includes supervising an unknown child, because if it does that should have been brought up at the interview. If there were an accident where the guest child was injured at your house while the nanny was there, that is an enormous liability for both you and her to take on without ever bothering to talk to her about it.

But, I think you're right that a serious conversation about their schedule, her willingness to host these play dates, and the needs of all the children would allow for a solution where everyone's half satisfied and half miserable - which I think is what we call an ideal compromise! ;)[/quote]

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