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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She'll be paying you a BABYSITTER's salary! So she shouldn't expect you to bend over backwards for her kids at all times anyway. I think quitting is the smart thing to do. [/quote]

She's not in DC.  And she is a nanny to two school-aged kids who are actually in school all day.  It sounds like she might even be being paid when they're in school (so she's being paid even when going to her doctors appointments)?  Given that, it sounds like a great rate to me.  And as we all know, a lot of the rate depends on whether she's being paid legally, whether she's being paid an hourly rate or salaried, how much education and experience the nanny is, how long she's been with the family, etc.

OP, I know you're thinking about moving, which sounds like a good plan.  But you also want to look at this from a totally financial point of view too.  Try to estimate what rate you would get in a nanny share if you move back home (that is, you watching your child and another infant).  Internalize that you are not going to get a typical market rate if you are bringing your own child.  So this income estimation does not get to be full market rate for what you would typically get watching one infant.

Estimate how your housing costs will change and what it will cost you to move out of your current place.  Also estimate how much it would cost you for a daycare or other childcare that you would be comfortable with (yeah, maybe you can get childcare for $400/month, but be sure it's something you would actually leave your child in).

Consider what the work would actually mean - are you really off all day but still getting paid when the boys are in school?  That sounds ideal to me with an infant.  You could spend that time getting paid to watch your own child.  Maybe I'm misunderstanding you on this point?

Consider that you know and like this family and that they have proven themselves to be respectful and giving (letting you go to the doctors, they want to keep you enough to propose you bringing your child).  Consider that moving and finding a new job when you're really pregnant is going to be very difficult and a big leap of faith.

Talk your husband down.  This is not an emotionally-charged, disrespectful thing they have proposed.  It makes total sense that you would take a cut in salary if you bring along your own child.  The question is how much - they've started the negotiations.  They've proposed $3/hour, maybe you come back with a $1-2 cut and see what they say.  Or come up with a plan for how this will not affect their kids and that they get to keep you, their awesome nanny and pitch it to them to show them you've thought about how to make this work with minimal interruption to the kids' schedules.

After you've thought through all that, maybe it still makes more sense to go back home.  Then, sure, do that - it's nice to be near family.  But please don't make this a knee-jerk reaction based on your husband freaking out that they are disrespecting you.    [/quote]

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