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[quote=Anonymous]Dear OP,

Its understandable to want to spend time with your daughter think its harmless to her behavior but that may be causing issues. Consider why you hired the nanny in the first place- so she takes care of your child while you work. Giving space is essential especially when working from home. Its your responsibility to find ways to stay out of the way.

This is the issue nanny have been struggling with for the entire duration of the pandemic. WFH parents who knowingly or unknowingly interfere (directly/indirectly) with nanny & child's day and then either pretend or say that they don't know why children are upset and set unrealistic expectations for the nanny and child.

Your nanny and baby are not robots. Please please understand the following or you may risk losing a reliable nanny.

1. Eating in the same room as a baby who either struggles with separation anxiety or throws tantrums especially during meals IS the problem. Children do not understand why nanny is there to handle them while you are there and they obviously (as they should) want you to be involved but as you say, you cant and would rather not because it would interfere with your nanny & child's routine but then how does sitting in the same room help? its just as unhelpful. You mentioned, your husband has advised you to eat lunch in your office and most parents who understand why, prepare lunch in the mornings.night before and have it in their office- question is why won't you listen to him?

2. So you know why this is happening and now you believe your nanny is the issue? Really think about that and how your nanny has pulled through all of it knoing that you have no intentions of respecting lunch time routine.

3. Parents being present and indirectly micromanaging IS a distraction to most toddlers especially during meals. This only works if your child is at an age where they understand that Mommy cannot play/do lunch with me right now even though shes present in the home. That takes a long time.

4. You cant expect your toddler to stop tantrums at meals simply because you & hubby are able to find ways to calm her yet you have no one standing in your way as is the case here with your nanny.

5. Even if you now eat in your office,your toddler is still accustomed to throwing tantrums during lunch and it can become habitual as the result of the inconsistency and interferences from you (she probably thinks you will come in or is just used to associating tantrums with lunch). Either way, it will take time for your daughter to move past this hurdle and if you want to keep your nanny, give grace and time for this to actually happen.

But if you're looking for ways to get rid of her, then continue indirectly micromanaging and interfering with their day. [/quote]

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