Reply to What are your biggest pet peeves about your nanny?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMG where to start??? I love my nanny (well my kid's nanny but sometimes it feels like she's  my nanny as well;). She thinks she's my equal. Like she has a problem viewing me as her boss and herself as my employee. She takes really good care of my kids but sometimes  she doesn't realize that the fact that I've birthed two babies out of my own vagina trumps her thirty five years of experience taking care of twenty seven babies. She can be intrusive-like when she advises me on my own personal care and tells me how important I am to the team. Even worse sometimes she has her own personal problems-health, family, financial, and it is intrusive on my particular situation in terms of having it all. It's really annoying and as much as I know she'd walk through a burning house to save my kids I just can't keep thing about how much money quality child care is going to cost me. I'm not a bottomless pit. That's why I need a nanny who is. It is what it is.[/quote]

You should feel lucky and blessed.  She makes your life possible and loves your children.  [/quote] Exactly. That's the hard part. She really loves all of us but the business/"family" relationship is very hard to manage. Thing is I really love her too but things are so difficult right now. Anyway I know we'd be worse off without than with. I know for a fact our children are very important to her. Everyone has a very full plate right now.[/quote]

This is why some families are more of daycare families.  It's not just about whether you can handle another adult in your house.  It's also important to be able to view the nanny as a partner, not "the help."[/quote]

I am neither one of these original commenters here but I was just reading through the thread trying to see where this was going and BAM. The last sentence hit the nail on the head. The most effective nanny-family relationships that I have seen are ones where there is actually mutual respect and partnership. The family needs to be confident in the process and the vetting that they did to take on the nanny and knowing that she is going to make sound decisions and the nanny should be confident in vetting the family to know that the families style is a match for them. If everyone does their intake processes correctly...starting from most likely using an agency, asking the right questions, asking for a trial when possible, then you're off to a good start. And if you are cutting corners on cost, your expectations of getting a Mary Poppins MUST be lowered accordingly. Not everyone who calls themself a nanny is quality and not every family who WANTS a quality nanny is entitled to one, there is a cost.[/quote]

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