Reply to How To Handle Amazing Nanny Not Social Distancing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our nanny is amazing. Both of our children love her, and she has been with our family since my 2.5 year old was 7 weeks old. She has continued coming to our home daily throughout the pandemic because we trust her and knew she was taking the pandemic seriously. None of us ever got sick throughout all this (we never required her to wear a mask inside our house), so I 100% believe she has been. However, as things reopen that may not be the case anymore. First, she got her nails done. I complimented them on Monday, and she awkwardly said thanks as if she knew it was not a smart decision. Then, I came across her Facebook (we are not Facebook friends; don’t judge me), and unfortunately I saw a photo from last weekend of her at what looked like an outdoor gathering. In the background I saw at least eight people, none wearing masks. She herself was also not wearing a mask in the photo. While I get she’s a single woman in her 20s and deserves human interaction especially after working throughout this entire pandemic and being indoors, I am not comfortable with her going to large gatherings. My children are very small, and we have also started seeing grandparents again who are older and higher risk.

1. How do I appropriately address this without crossing boundaries? I have no right to tell her what to do when she is not caring for my children, but now with COVID her decisions outside of work directly affect my family.

2. Should I mention the Facebook post despite not being friends? It’s a public post, but I think it may come off as if I was snooping.

Again, we love her and she’s awesome so we would really love to get this sorted out in a reasonable way without crossing boundaries. Thank you [/quote]

You can’t have it both ways. If you’re expanding your bubble, you can’t tell your nanny to stay home. My boss is doing this with trips to the salon and visits with friends, while expecting me to stay home. Unlike your nanny, I don’t make my social media visible so my boss has no idea what I’m doing so she can choose to believe she controls me (she doesn’t). I cut my hair and told her I did it myself. I was totally fine staying home isolating until my bosses started having a life and going to the beach. You risk my health, I risk yours. I’m not staying home for you, if you don’t stay home for me. Maybe you shouldn’t have opened your bubble. [/quote]

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