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[quote=Anonymous]OP, in many nanny/employer situations, there is a temptation to look for who is “right.”  It doesn’t actually matter.

Your nanny feels that she needs more time off.  What your response is needs to happen in the context of your specific relationship.

1) How long has she been with your family?  If she is newish then you run the risk of setting a bad precedence.  If she has been with you years, is this something she has asked for before?  What was your response then?

2) What are your objections?  Would you be okay with a week in summer but are worried she will ask for more time in fall/winter?  Are you stressed about lack of backup care?  Worried about disruption for the kids?

3) What is her job situation right now?  I for one have a much more stressful job and life during COVID than I did before.  If she legitimately feels that she needs the break to function, don’t ignore that.  It will not make for a successful and emotionally stable employee.  You don’t have to say “yes” but you should put her request in the context of our difficult times.

4) What is your situation?  Are you and your spouse both working full time?  How old are your kids?  How much do you NEED a nanny and how well is she paid?  If you hired her pre-pandemic, bear in mind that right now there is a high demand for nannies and rates are going up.  If you needed to replace her, you may have to up your rate, or you may have to go weeks without childcare before finding someone suitable.

5) How good is she?  Step back from your current annoyance.  Does she have a good relationship with your kids?  Is she creating a positive and safe environment for them during a stressful time?  Can you trust that they will be well-cared-for during her hours?  That is all a huge weight off your shoulders.  Think about the break-in period on a new nanny, and the chance that a new nanny wouldn’t work out.  You either think about this stuff and say “Okay, my nanny is actually great and I am lucky to have her” or you realize “Actually, I would want to replace her either way.  She isn’t even good with the kids.”  Figure out where you are on that metric because that is the most important consideration!

We can’t tell you what to do.  You have to decide by looking at your own relationship with your own nanny and nothing else.[/quote]

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