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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Is it possible that the other AP wasn’t friendly to her or was putting her in charge of all the kids?[/quote]

I don't think that's too possible- the other kids are actually SUPER EASY (like ridiculously so) and AP never mentioned anything like this, she would just say like "oh I have an excuse" (excuses abound!) and I would be like "np but I do want you guys to go over there. Our last AP did it everyday and became good friends with the other AP and she's pretty rad overall (I think) and my sister works from home so I seriously doubt my AP was being mistreated.

We took her on a skiing trip after she first came, honestly, this is where my annoyance with her all started I think. At one point I remember she was on the phone and asking me to put her ski boots on, and then she missed her lesson just because she lost track of time. She'll also do things like facetime with people at the dinner table while we are all over at a friends house for dinner and then we are sort of like "you know you'd be able to hear better if you went in another room". Just really odd. And a lot of work.

previous APs- do things like take them skiing with us, take them boating, take them places, to games, we do family movie nights and board games (where AP isn't expected to take care of the kids, etc). I generally become quick enough 'friends' with my APs, but this one ... I'm just not sure of her true motivations to be an au pair, ya know? She hasn't really bonded with any of the kids or any of us, doesn't come out to do things with us, etc. My teenager even asked me to please speak with her about her BO. I'm really not sure she isn't depressed I just don't know what to do about it, ya know?

[/quote]

Wow lot of things wrong with her behavior tbh. Just hold the course until things get better.[/quote]

Okay, everything other than hanging out with the other AP and kids every afternoon sounds problematic.  You said she doesn’t take correction well, so why didn’t you rematch after a month?

Out of curiosity, why was it so imperative that they go over every afternoon? That seems very strange to me.  And unless your sister’s AP extended, it’s not the same person for more than a year, so maybe the newer AP has a less friendly personality?  How is your sister able to wfh, monitor the APs/children and get her work done?  Maybe the AP felt watched constantly while there?  Did you ask for a concrete reason about why she didn’t want to go?  (First you said she said something along the lines of “I’m fine.”  That implied to me that she viewed it as an offer for f help, but she didn’t feel Help was necessary.  Now, you’re saying she offered multiple excuses not to go, which leads me to believe that there was something undesirable about being there.  Due to the change in narrative, I can’t figure out which is the case, or whether it’s totally different.)

Good luck OP.  I do think this one sounds like a dud, and I’m so sorry you have to deal with her now versus rematching immediately.[/quote]

Thanks.

Honestly the main reason we want her to go over there is so the children can play. You see, my children have a large age gap and my sister's children are much closer in age to my youngest. So, she would leave the oldest unsupervised (12 and 17- this is TOTALLY OK FTR lol) and then take the youngest (3) to my sisters, which is less than a mile from my house. (My sister's AP has extended fwiw). She would say things like, "I wanted to know if you wanted me to make dinner, I wasn't sure when you'd be home, etc" when asked why she didn't go over.

Honestly we would have rematched right away but our LCC encouraged us to wait 60 days AND we had a plan for a former AP to come in March (exactly 60 days) which is when we were going to pull the trigger.

It's fine, really. I'm just stuck deciding 'what to do now' lol. Train her, find her a new home, deal with it, etc.

I definitely could have my 17 year old "take over" and watch my 3 year old for the time being as my work schedule is pretty light, and this is something we have considered... [/quote]

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