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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a stage 5 clinger. She wants to he with us all the time. She is in the family room when I wake up and when I'm asleep. She hears me come home she bolts upstairs. She chatters on and in non stop. She is currently upset because we don't include her in things like going to Costco, wegmans,  or our family friends houses for dinner. She is more needy than my own children.

We have never had an AuPair like this and it is miserable. This is our last year and I'm counting down each day until her year is up.

All of our AuPairs wanted to do their own thing on the weekends and evenings. We have never asked an AuPair to work on weekends aside from a free random weekends. We like hanging with our kids and cherish time as a family. [/quote]

You could also do your share of the deal and ask her if she wants to join you on these family activities.
Not all the time but from time to time. This way she'll feel included.
It looks like you were not meant to do that programme if you're not willing to share much with the AP.[/quote]

Okay. So if an AP joins the family on their Costco runs, is the AP ALSO embracing the spirit of the program? And by that I mean, embracing the concept of living with an average American family and the reality that entails? Is she helping the parent mind the children in the parking lot? Is she stopping them from pulling down the giant display of spaghetti sauce? Is she helping to load the kids in and out of the car and load the groceries?
Or is the AP spending all the time on her phone, ignoring the kids, avoiding conversation and sulking that we are not curating a more fun experience for her?

Being part of an American family with young kids and working parents means the weekends are spent on things like grocery shopping.
I never expect my APs to join our mundane family activities on the weekends but if they CHOOSE to then I expect them to act like another adult.[/quote]

Agree with the PP. We have had APs, who have done this. Especially early on, when they did not have many friends and were simply interested in bonding with us. In any case, whether it's a mundane trip to Costco or a fun outing, our APs always behave like another helpful adult. I never discussed this with them, but it seems like a given.

To answer OP's original question, at the beginning, we tell our APs about our weekend plans (now matter now mundane) and offer them to join us. As time goes on and they develop their circle of friends, we only tell them about fun outings. [/quote]

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