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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How can she have 1.5 data off if she’s stuck at your weekend house? Are you giving her off Monday and half of Tuesday to look after your own kids? [/quote]

It sounds like she wants her to sit in the house while they ski since she doesn't like skiing to be available for date night.  She wouldn't get any time off.  OP doesn't spend much time with her or his kids.[/quote]

Op here. I spend a ton of time with my kids. I’m with them every morning before school (ap only works when dh and I have to be working earlier than usual, as our youngest’s school doesn’t open before 9). I get up with them @6 and dh and I take them (or some of them) to school daily. I finish my work day at 3 most days so I can pick up one or more of them and take them to activities. Ap picks up the other one (or 2) and takes them to other activities. 3 days a week my eldest has an activity that ends late, meaning we don’t get home until almost 8, and once a week my middle has a late activity as well. I have occasional evening work for my job, and dh is a biglaw partner so he basically works all the time (except mornings before 9ish, again, unless he has a meeting). Our au pair works most weeks from 3-somewhere between 7-8:30, and sometimes up to 2 mornings a week. If the ap is working on the weekends we adjust the schedule so she has plenty of time off during the week.

I spend significant time with my kids and we also enjoy family time together on weekends. With our past 4 au pairs they have also enjoyed spending weekends with us, either skiing or in other seasons hiking, swimming, visiting the towns around our home, going to movies, shopping, etc. I’ve always considered that part of the “cultural exchange”, spending time as a family with our au pair. I think most reasonable people can handle a few weekends without clubbing with their friends, and if their goal is to experience life in America they should realize it is more than just hanging out with other 20-somethings. Now, I don’t think my ap thinks this and I think she’s just a bit wrapped up in a friend group and who knows, maybe next month she will want to come every weekend. If she wants to ski then we will buy her passes and rent her gear. If she wants to hang out in the cute town next to the mountain, totally fine. If she wants to invite a friend for the weekend and stay at our house sleeping and hanging out or whatever she wants, also fine. And if she really has no interest in going at all, i should know that, too. We spend about a month there, sometimes more, over the summer, during which time our au pair works a typical week, although usually a somewhat lighter schedule depending on if the kids are in camp, etc. We sometimes facilitate their return to the city for weekends, or they invite a friend for a few days, but it is part of the package that is our family and a potential ap learns that from our profile. Are there really no families here who take their ap’s on vacations and expect them to work? I know that is not true, and don’t really see how this is hugely different.

If we’ve ever had the need for extra hours we’ve hired another sitter to fill in. Now that our kids are all in full time school we don’t have another regular sitter, but if dh and I travel we always bring in extra help.  [/quote]

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