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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is working weekdays, not weekends.  If you want weekends, you need to tell her the schedule is changing and she will need to work weekends and give her the time off weekends.  Why do you need her when you are going skiing?  She works every evening and deserves some time off to be with her friends.  Are you even offering to fully pay for it and get her her own room?[/quote]

We’ve done a mix of giving off a full weekday on the weekends we have her actually work on the weekend, or just having her come and she isn’t working but she chooses to be there. She has her own bedroom in our country house and we fully pay for the skiing. Our previous au pairs have all been skiers but she isn’t, which is something she wasn’t totally up front about when we matched (she said she likes to ski but then told us after she doesn’t really like it plus she gets cold very easily and has an undisclosed medical condition related to cold). We told her she doesn’t have to ski and she’s welcome to hang out at the house (we have a hot tubs & lots of activities), and invite a friend if she wants (who we would drive up with us...). The only thing we’d ever “need” her for is Saturday evening babysitting, which we can do without of course. It’s more that ski weekends are a big part of our family life and she’s completely missing out on them.

She knew she was working until 8-8:30 every evening before matching. She still goes out many nights after (most ap’s in our area work until around then it seems), and she rarely works mornings. [/quote]

Maybe she doesn't like the mixing of hours.  You really need to sit down with her and talk to her about her schedule.  There is no reason she shouldn't go out at 8 PM as an adult.  Its a bit absurd to make her give up her weekend so you can have a date night for a few hours.  She tried skiing.  She doesn't like it.  That's ok.  Its not much fun hanging out alone or being in a house where there is no car in the middle of no where.  Hire a local sitter for your date night and be more reasonable.  You don't sound reasonable at all.  You expect her to completely cater to your wishes and likes and don't seem to be concerned about her wishes and likes.  You like skiing.  They are a part of your family.  She is your child care provider.  Its nice you include her but she does not like skiing.  She also doesn't like the cold.  That is ok.  Weekends should be your family time.  The kids are in school all day, she cares for them until bed so weekends are your only time with the kids.  You can do a date night during the week after work since she works every evening.[/quote]

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