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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - its a tough situation.  My only caution is that it seems like you are frustrated she can't help out these upcoming weekends, and that frustration is leaking into things like her other work has slipped.  Make sure you are not starting a conversation that could end in a break/rematch without careful consideration, and take a pause before doing so.  You may decide its not worth it.

Try to find some local mountain babysitters or an older teen neighborhood babysitter who would like to join you in the mountains![/quote]

I actually wanted to do a reset before the holidays, but decided to see if she stepped up a bit after a long break. I asked her to do a few small kid-related tasks, sorting socks and tidying up books etc in kids rooms. She did some of it but not a thorough job on either. This week her friend is “hanging out” and ap has disappeared a few times when she’s supposed to be working, and comes back 20-30 mins later with no explanation other than “I went to my room”. My house is so much messier than it was with prior au pairs because she either doesn’t make the kids tidy up or she doesn’t do it, despite my making it very clear that it is her job. She will do things like leave any breakfast dishes she think might possibly have been used by me or dh in the sink, but wash the others (despite the fact that dh and I only drink coffee or tea in the mornings at home, and almost always put our own cups in the dishwasher). I’ve spoken about it with her before but it’s starting to get draining. This all happened before the weekend conversation, and I didn’t press them because the kids were around and I’d prefer to talk with her solo.

Also, dh is going to be away for 3 weeks next month and even knowing that she told me she “must” take a long weekend class on the first weekend he is away, meaning she won’t be able to go to the country with us the first week in February either...[/quote]

Oof, that’s a lot. Get in front of this before it gets any worse. Resentment rots quickly. [/quote]

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