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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you are the employer.  You define the job and the job responsibilities and you hire accordingly.

If you hired this nanny to do a given job, and the job responsibilities haven't changed, and she is not doing the job, then she is failing in the position.

Be direct and clear - "Jane, we need to talk.  You are fantastic - we so love the way you X, Y and Z.  I especially appreciate your consistent _____ with little MIchael - it's exactly what we hoped to find in a nanny.  There are also a couple of things that I want to address. Some of the day to day tasks - such as cleaning bottles, doing the baby's laundry, and emptying the diaper pail - are not being done consistently.  Is there a reason?"

And let her answer.  If she says she'll do better you say great and you reiterate how wonderful she is overall and move on.  If she pushes back then you need to make clear that these are all the responsibilities she signed up for in accepting the position and having these things done is one of the main reasons you've chosen to go with a nanny and not daycare.  They're not negotiable in the job description.

Then you address the second item.  "There's one other thing I want to talk about, which is having cell phones near Michael.  I do not want you using your cell phone when he is awake, when you're tucking him in or holding him, etc...  If you need to use your phone for personal use you can do that while he's napping or in your breaks.  Ok?"

Period.

You get to have non-negotiables OP.  Performing the basic functions of the job she accepted and following your directions re care of the child are perfectly appropriate non-negotiables.

Perhaps she's very young and you need to teach her, or perhaps she's lazy, or perhaps she doesn't respect your authority.  You need to figure out why she isn't doing the job or following your requests and see then if there's a future with her.

At the hourly rate you're paying, for one child, you can find other nannies very easily.  None of your expectations are unreasonable.  If you find yourself bending over backwards to put up with someone, or routinely doing the things you specifically hired someone to do, then something is wrong.

Good luck.
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