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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Seems like a simple enough task to be messing up so royally, but she may be trying to passive aggressively remind your that she is not responsible for general household chores. You can ask her to load and unload (or hand wash) her own dishes and the children's dishes, but technically you're not supposed to ask her to do any other household chores[/quote]

She absolutely can unload the dishwasher 5 days per week as part of the family.  This has worked great for us with over 10 years of hosting.  Au Pair doesn't cook dinner (unless she wants to...some have and some have not), she doesn't clean up after dinner (the kids clear the table and load the dishwasher, husband or I do the pots and pans or other handwashing), at this age my kids load the dishwasher themselves after breakfast and after school (and so do my husband and I with our coffee cups in the morning).  Unloading is doing a share of the adult work in the house around food and eating....and it's less than 1/3 of the adult work around these tasks.

Should I refuse to pour her a cup of coffee when I've made it because technically I don't owe her coffee??  Or if I'm making pancakes I hand her the spatula and tell her to make her own (I have to provide her food, I don't have to cook it!)  NO!  That's ridiculous.  Household tasks as part of the family are absolutely reasonable in the program.  My kids are expected to do a reasonable share of the work too.  We don't expect her to wait on us but we aren't going to wait on her either.

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This is wrong. And you are not comparing apples to oranges.[/quote]

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