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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "AP Dating Issues - Please Help!!"
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[quote=Anonymous]Here a summary in case it was not clear before. Perhaps the subject was misleading as its not a dating issue really. 1. During the week the AP discussed going on an overnight stay with the guy she has seen 2x over the past week or so. Her plan was to leave on Saturday morning (3.5 hour drive to destination) and say through Sunday evening. 2. We (host parents) are 100% fine with her going on a trip and staying in a hotel room (absolutely no issue with dating / sex / etc.). Earlier that day (Friday) the AP asked me to book the hotel room for Saturday so that she could take advantage of the perks I get (and she has enjoyed in the past). No problem at all .... We asked and she said it was fine to meet the guy she was going on a trip with to ensure her safety. Note, at this time I had not made the hotel reservation yet as she was still not 100% that they were going. Kids they days make plans day of as you probably know. 3. Friday evening, the AP went to the Gym and to Target. Before she left our home, the plans above were still valid (leaving on Saturday morning) 4. After the gym, she met up with the guy and they decided to go on their trip. The AP then sent me a text at 11:00 PM stating "We decided to go tonight ....". We did not see the text as we went to bed early that night after a long work week. The AP arrived back at our home at 11:30 PM, packed her bags and left with her suitcase at 12:10 AM. During this time she brought this guy into our home for 40+ minutes without our knowledge (we have never met him, and she went out on 2 dates). After going in and out of the house 2 times, the Ring Doorbell Camera woke me up. I was surprised to see her text and all the activity at the front door (her coming and then leaving). 5. I text her back and said "you're leaving now". She said "Yes, can you book the hotel now that you're awake". I said we did not meet this guy yet. The AP said you can now before we leave -- meanwhile its 12:15 AM and we are in bed. 6. I ended up going outside to meet the AP and the guy for 3-5 minutes. And shortly after they were on the way and I booked the hotel room as per her request. I am not sure what they were thinking leaving at 12:30 at night to a location only 3.5 hours away. Nor did they have a place to sleep. But hey, they are millennials. The AP has a private guest house, so if having sex was her main objective she could have accomplished that without leaving on a trip. Again, not an issue to us what she does in her own time / privacy. She has also made a string a bad choices and goes into depression mode. For example, she met some guy down by the water and the next day I found her car seat in full recline when I was getting the car seat out. She told us she mad a bad choice last night and wasn't happy with herself. That is when my wife informed her of the services available to her should she ever need them. --- While some of you just get your 45 hours a week in and don't care what they AP does otherwise, we as her host parents do feel responsible for her overall safety and making good choices. We promised her parents that we would watch over her. It's also being responsible to offer women's health and other resources available for free if she needed anything. Why not be informed of information that she otherwise would not know. As I stated earlier, our biggest concerns are: a.) The AP let an unknown man into our home while everyone was sleeping. b.) The AP left without telling us in the middle of the night. Plus, we mutually agreed with her that we had to meet any guy she was leaving town with. We went to bed thinking she was leaving the next day, and instead shes out the door with an unknown guy. When the AP makes poor choices like these time after time, it gets annoying. Plus, you have to hope she isn't making bad choice while watching your kids. She also has broken the trust we expect from her multiple times now. I think part of the issue is that is a very bad communicator. [/quote]
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