Reply to “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Something very similar happened to me, OP. No goodbyes with the child. No nothing. 
If only these self-absorbed parents had a clue, [b]they wouldn't damage their own child like this.[/b] It's so unnecessary. And [b]the disastrous consequences can last a lifetime.[/b] [/quote]

To be fair, my mother fired nannies left and right, without having them say goodbye to me, and it was not a big deal to me. There were no "disastrous consequences". 
While I'm doing things differently with my children and their nanny, I was not damaged by having nannies leave abruptly. Let's find a way to be kind to OP without being dramatic. [/quote]

“Nannies”.  You wrote “nannies” as in multiple caregivers.  That is very different than having one loving nanny from birth who suddenly disappears.  Having that one singular figure you depended on and loved simply vanish sets up an inherent memory of adult distrust.  Someone who loves and cares for you every day basically can abandon you at anytime.

No drama - simply proven fact.  Like the children in orphanages who suffer long term attachment disorder after just the first year of their life without conscious memory.  [/quote]

That's not abandonment if you are a paid caregiver.  You are overvaluing your job.  You are not a parent replacement.[/quote]
You are psycho. Do you really think your child believes "she doesn't really love you because she's just the hired help"? A long term devoted nanny has a bond with your child that you don't have the capacity to fathom. But no worries, perhaps you never had a long term devoted nanny.

I've found some insecure mothers will keep the nanny door swinging just to prevent any potential bonding. One must pity them and their children. This is a perfect example of how family dysfunction transfers from one generation to the next. It's so sad.[/quote]

Its not dysfunctional. Kids are going to have many caretakers from child care to teachers to coaches in their lives that come and go.  It has nothing to do with being insecure.  This is your job.  Act professional.  Jobs end.  You cannot expect it to last a lifetime and they be a substitution for your family.[/quote]

My children, now 14 and 11, have had two parents and one nanny since the day they were born.  This is stability.  Yearly teachers and seasonal coaches do not compare at all.  OP is professional and understands that jobs end - but the love a child feels for a nanny and the nanny’s love for a child shouldn’t end.  Our nanny will be in our lives and our family forever.  I can’t even imagine her not being in our lives.

It is a very selfish and petty mother who refuses to allow a former nanny to even visit her charge!! [/quote]
Thank you for your beautiful post. I wish other parents would try to understand what's important.[/quote]

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