Reply to “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a MB, I’ll say it is difficult on a sensitive employer to have someone be so needy and in love with your children when you don’t love them in return (nothing personal, just hard to love someone with this kind of relationship at play). Don’t put so much emotional weight on a work situation. You can do a good job and enjoy it without being too emotionally entrenched. In no other field are the workers so entitled to relationships and love. Have some professional distance. The door swings both ways and I know that if I couldn’t pay you, you would not be in my life very often if at all. Why should I allow you access to my children forever or even say you are part of the family? [/quote]

OP here.  Yes, I know.  However when your employer floods you with the “I love you”, “You are a forever part of our family”, “You’re my best friend”, etc. it is hard not to internalize the statements.

And loving a child is part of the job - I think it is simply how nannies and preschool teachers are wired.  You go the extra ten miles for the child.

But you are right, I will not believe any employer again.  I was very lucky with my first two families.  Not so with this third.  [/quote]

NP. I'm an MB as well. I don't agree with the tone of first PP here, but I get what she's saying. Our nanny is AMAZING, and loves my children deeply. But she and I also get along, and our personalities mesh. We had another babysitter who I actually asked to nanny for us before we hired our current nanny, but she turned us down because she had just started another job and didn't want to leave so soon. I am so glad that didn't work out, because in hindsight she was very needy, and our personalities didn't click. Our current nanny (and the only one we've ever had) will always be a part of my kids' lives, because she is laid back and easy going, and not pushy and needy.

I'm sorry that this happened to you, OP. A similar thing happened to me when I was a teenager- a family I babysat for regularly for years just up and moved and didn't tell me. That stung for a long time. [/quote]

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