Reply to 19 yr old au pair’s boyfriend visiting for a week. Sleeping arrangements?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I don’t plan to ask them to get a hotel! But I do plan to have a solid conversation in advance, making clear that[b] we are already making an exception to our handbook rules[/b] (no opposite sex overnight guests; length of stay), and setting out clear expectations. Sleeping arrangements, expection that unless she is using vacation time she will be sufficiently rested and attentive to her regular work, and that she needs to take responsibility for her guest’s “care and feeding” rather than expect us to play the role of host in preparing for his visit, setting up what he needs, providing his meals for a week, and cleaning up after him.

Sounds a bit harsh but I would prefer to establish clear expectations rather than try to course correct during his stay. [/quote]

This changes things significantly imo. She [i]informed[/i] you he was coming? Or asked? Your OP made it sound like the trip was already happening, and she was asking you where in the house he could sleep. Is that not right?

Because I think this is a much bigger deal. It sounds like a boyfriend who doesn't respect your rules at all, told her he'd already booked his tix and that you'd put him up. Or, she's blaming him for her own decision to completely ignore your handbook.

In that case, I think you can put whatever rules on this you like, and you are perfectly within your rights to say that if it doesn't go smoothly, you will ask her to take her vacation days and find somewhere else for them to stay.[/quote]

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