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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ignore the crazy bitchy nannies on this forum.  It is perfectly reasonable to wonder what the perameters are for something new.  There is no real normal here—it all depends on what works for you and for your nanny.  If these are families you have no other connection with, I would probably try to contact the parents beforehand.  And other limits might be in order depending on your style, such as area of the house (are bedrooms okay or would you prefer playroom/LR), number of kids, frequency and whether drop-off playdates are allowed should all be considered.[/quote]

Wow.  So if I had to make sure that my employer has contact info before any kids or adults come to the house, I would not set up play dates.  I don’t do that dance of “Oh, having a play date would be great! So, my employer won’t be there, but she needs your contact info, oh and the baby’s and parents’ info too, even though she’s never going to meet you and likely won’t ever talk to or meet the other parents.  Oh, you’re not interested anymore?  I understand.”

My employers trust my judgement and supervision, and I text beforehand if it’s someone that is coming over for the time in an unplanned manner. “Okay, plans changed for the day.  Calendar had been changed to reflect that there’s a sudden downpour, can’t stay at the park.  Nanny abc has two kids, x and y, ages m and n, and due to kids living in an apartment, play dates will be at your house or the park.  Kids like each other, I’ll be adding this group to the google calendar going forward.”

Sometimes I send something like “Kids met a new group of kids at the park today, kids seem great, nanny seems a bit off, only play dates at the park for now.”

We keep a google calendar.  It has location, time and participants, that way the parents feel connected without needing to spend a ton of time on things that don’t impact them.  I color code for different types of events/participants, so it’s easy to see repeat play dates and know who the kids play with over time.  It’s all things that I started to keep the parents connected, but I’m happy to suggest it to later families.  I’ll do an initial play date that a parent sets up, to evaluate whether it will continue as a regular event while I’m there.  But I’m not a fan of being micromanaged.  I know how to politely set up play dates at the park with my employers’ friends, that way I’m not uncomfortable when they’re snobbish and sit on their phone ignoring me (and kids) the entire time, or worse, drop off an infant or toddler for half a day for free babysitting.  I don’t need or want an employer to set up play dates with other nannies, as I can handle that myself, and I know what times are free in the schedule.

Overall, if I can’t be trusted to use my common sense and good judgement, I’m not a fit for a family.[/quote]

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