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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I ALWAYS negotiate visiting/FaceTiming relatives in my contracts.  My theory is this: a child can never be harmed by many people giving unconditional love, but conditional love and jealousy/resentment can harm a child very quickly, no matter who is doing it.  If ANYONE in my charge’s life demonstrates that they don’t understand the difference, I explain; if they don’t agree, I won’t be a part of that relationship, and that means no FaceTime or visits while I’m present.  Any adult who understands and agrees is welcome to visit/FaceTime.  If I know the adult gets 2 weeks or less with the child during a year, I will make changes to our schedule to accommodate (instead of going to a standing play date, let’s go to the park with grandpa today); if they visit more than that, the adult is welcome to join us for our schedule and I do my best to make smaller changes (we’re going to the standing play date, but grandma can help do the craft, and I’ll do clean up for everyone while grandma and other kids/nannies go play or eat snack).  I fit irregular FaceTime calls in whenever they come in, unless it interrupts meals or naps; I prefer to set up block of time 2-3 times per week for regular FaceTime calls, that way adults know when it’s a good time, and that way kids aren’t locked into one time and upset when life happens.[/quote]

This will go in my next contract.  I have frequently visiting grandparents and I hate the grandfather.  He calls my little boy charge “a girl” when he cries or is afraid of something.  My charge is only 16 months!! Grandpa wants him to be tough and takes away all his stuffed animals!  I am definitely in charge however and we always butt heads.  It is miserable. [/quote]

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