Reply to Long-distance move with live-in nanny, any tips?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I were the nanny, I would probably insist on a promise of some re-relocation expenses if it doesn't work out in less than a year, too.

OP, why is she willing to move?[/quote]

This is great insight. We'll cover that in the agreement. Totally. 
She's willing to move, presumably, bc she likes the job and she likes us. She has said as much to our faces...unless she was just being nice. Guess we'll find out soon![/quote]

Whoa!  Please don’t assume that if she isn’t willing to move to a new area then she lied about liking you as a family!  My goodness, I hope that was a joke.  I love my current nanny family but I have roots in this area and other irons in the fire, so to speak, it would be very hard to leave.  I am a grown-up; I can’t just skip town because my friend is moving!

That said, I want to point out that there are benefits to having a new nanny in your new city.

First, moving with the nanny will absolutely change the dynamic of your relationship.  It could be for the better, but it could go the other way too—imagine every time she is annoyed with you her thinking, “I can’t believe you would do XYZ after I moved for you!” Or “I can’t live like this for another two years!”  Nannying is an emotionally fraught job, live-in nannying even more so.  Moving to a new city together ratchets that up even further.  Think hard about the emotional maturity of your nanny.  Many live ins are young and relatively inexperienced, and you said you have a baby.  If she has been working with you under a year, you are still in the honeymoon period in many ways.

On the flip side, before you know it your baby will be a toddler.  Having a nanny who is familiar with your new city will mean that your child has access to playdates through nanny’s social network and your nanny can give guidance on outings, classes, preschools, etc. as those things become relevant.

It might be that your nanny is excited to move and all goes smoothly, but I wanted to offer some things to think about before you extend the offer.[/quote]

This is good advice. The last time we moved (we're military), I specifically wanted to find a nanny who had been living in that area for a long time. We didn't know many people, and other military people were also new to the area, and I was hoping our nanny would already know about the best playgrounds, activities, parks, swimming places, libraries, etc.. We ended up with someone who had grown up there, and I was really happy with how quickly and easily our kids were able to enjoy the area.[/quote]

I’m a live-in nanny, and I go anywhere in the US.  Any decent nanny is going through do her homework online and hit the ground running.  My last move was to NOVA.  A few days before I arrived, I had already plugged kids’ schools, nature centers, museums, spraygrounds, and the closest parks into Waze.  Over my first two days off, I found a kids’ science center I liked, nixed three close parks for two that were better and more shaded.  By the end of the second week with the family, I knew who was who in the kids’ school social lives, had started making play dates with kids we met at the park, and I was jump starting my own social life in my time off.

The difference is that I’m in my 30s, and my career choice is being a live-in nanny.  It’s not a stop-gap option until I’m on my feet.  I’m not twiddling my thumbs until I graduate.  I do this for the relationship with the whole family and because there are families who truly need a live-in nanny.  So, I know exactly the information I need before I arrive, and I make sure to do my homework.

I appreciate the service and sacrifice from your family and other military families.  My parents were out by the time I was six months, but I moved a ton while I was growing up (8 schools for pre-K through high school), and my experience as a child definitely shapes how I prepare now.  I wish you the best, both now and with your ur next move, and while I understand why you may want someone local, I hope you also consider someone with the same type of moving experience your children are getting.  Sometimes it’s more beneficial to the kids to have someone commiserate and offer suggestions based on personal experience.[/quote]

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