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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) Have the smack-down conversation with grandmas: “Nanny is very important to DD right now.  We love that DD feels so loved and safe with her primary caregiver.  But nanny will only be around until Kindergarten (or whenever).  You will be grandma forever and trying to compete with nanny for this short time is only going to make DD anxious.”

2) Find a way to make grandma time special—as a nanny, I have a lot to do during the day and I don’t read as many books as my charges would like (B3 would gladly read for 2 hours straight).  They love when granny visits because she has no other tasks and is happy to just read and read and read.  Another grandparent likes to cook and does fun cooking projects whenever they visit.  Look for something that can bond them.

3) Give it time.  The older they get, the less they rely on their primary attachment figure to be their home base. [/quote]

OP here and thank you.  I’d like to settle this with the grandmothers because nanny is going to be with us for much longer than DD’s kindergarten since we are expecting our second child and will need nanny throughout their elementary school years. [/quote]

Even if nanny is going to be around until middle school, it is still worth pointing out to grandma that she will ALWAYS be grandma.  Nonone ages out of having a grandma![/quote]

Grandmas die.  [/quote]

I don’t get your point.  Are you concerned your kids’ grandma will die before they age out of nanny care?  Maybe, but that would be fairly rare, unless your family twnds to die very young or reproduce very lte.  Also, I can barely remember any of my childcare providers from my youth, but my grandma has been dead for over a decade and I think about her all the time.  I still have some items of hers that I cherish and show off and my brother and I swap stories about her often.  My point was that when prents have to have the “don’t compete with nanny” conversation, it can be helpful to put it in perspecrice for grandma: you are family and you will always be an important part of the child’s life.  Nanny looms large right now and teying to fight that reality is going to make things harder for everyone involved, but that reality is fleeting.[/quote]

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