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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP with an update.  DD's caregiver said she wanted to come back to work and I said yes, but don't think it's happening.  Her first day back is supposed to be tomorrow (per her request) yet she once again has gone radio silent over text.  She is dealing with emotional issues (she's been seeing a therapist) and I think she's not in a good place right now.  There's not much more I can do.

As to whether the departure of a caregiver matters to a child and how much, I think it depends on the circumstances as well as on the child.  While this caregiver was perfectly nice, she was never loving to DD (the way some caregivers are) and this naturally set the tone of their relationship and affected the bond they have.  OTOH, she took care of DD almost every weekday for five months.  Aside from DH and me, this caregiver has been the one constant adult figure in DD's life (our family all live out of state).  All this counts for something.  It's been over a week since the caregiver was last here and DD has asked about her a couple times.  She notices the caregiver's absence and I'm sure she will remember her for a while.  Since I can't facilitate a 'goodbye,' I will explain to DD caregiver's absence the next time she asks about her and speak of her positively as advised by PPs.  [/quote]

Perfect, OP - but please don't wait until she asks.  Bring up the babysitter and speak fondly of her.  Reassure your child that babysitter wants to be here but she can't and she loved DD.  Then let is slowly fade.  That is all a child needs - to know that what she felt was real and requited and she has not been left because of something she did.

Your babysitter sounds like a real piece of work, btw.  Good riddance.  [/quote]

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