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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Sharing vehicles"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]During the week she will typically have morning and early afternoons free (other than to do laundry and kid related cleaning) and she will not be working the 45 hours except during summer. Most of the year it would be around 30 or less. That is nice for her in that she has free time, but if she can't get around it could be frustrating and boring. [/quote] Bingo. Time off is not worth it if you are stuck at home. Being stuck at home is boring. Your AP probably has no idea what she is getting into because she can't imagine not being able to go anywhere. (Also, "to do laundry and kid related cleaning" means she is not off...) How many other APs are where you are? Any chance others could easily pick her up because they live close by or because you are living between "major AP suburb" and "fun area"? Is there any public transportation where you are? Have you thought about how you are going to handle summers? If your AP has the kids for 45 hrs each week without car access, do you just expect them to stay home? What if your AP wants to take classes while she is off during the day? Is there any way for her to get to the closest college without a car? Is where you are accessible enough to bike anywhere? Walk? Can she reach a gym/cafe/pool/park/anything in lets say 15 minutes without a car safely? Other APs? A college? Anywhere where people between the age of 18 and 25 spend their time outside of work? Are you willing to cover Uber to where she wants to go? Can your AP drop you off at work when she drops the kids off at school (I know, I know, not part of their job... but possibly better than stuck at home)? Can you Uber to/from work? Could you offer a fixed car schedule? Monday - you borrow your brother's car. Tuesday - you Uber to work. Wednesday - you "can make it work that certain days we help each other get to and from work" Thursday - AP drops you off / picks you up Friday - you take the car but AP can have it for the weekend as soon as you are back home Sat/Sun - AP takes car because you are off work I would highly suggest to come up with somethin set and reliable. Unless you want to end up with an unhappy AP. It's a situation you can make work. But not as easily as if you had a third car or a desginated AP car (and even that leads to conflicts over milage and cost and whatelse). *** We have a "3 adults, 1 car" situation but where we are is extremely walkable, AP has a bike and the closest bus stop is a few minutes away (we provide a bus pass). And the car is usually at home because we bike to work (and are currently on our first AP with a driving licence). Our family has so many other drawbacks that we just couldn't add "stuck at home" to the list (that's why we live where we live). I have been an AP in a "3 adults, 2 cars" situation, outside a major metropolitan area, at 24. At matching I had been told they would make sure the car was available to me whenever they could make it work. Just that they never could, there was always a reason why the car wasn't available. Even getting the car to go to classes was a pain. We were living on a hill/mountain (1500 ft. elevation), the next bus stop was a 15 minute walk (downhill), the bus went hourly and cost 10% of my weekly stipend for a one-way ticket, and with the bus schedule I would have had to take the bus back immediately after arriving in the city during the week (or at 5 am the following morning). There was a metro stop in walking distance... 4 miles away through an unlit forest, up and down hill. This was before google maps and I had to heavily rely on the information given by the HF. Had I known how much the truth was bent, I would not have matched with them. Not saying that they were lying. I am sure they did think the arrangements would work out, they just didn't expect the situation to be as difficult as it ended up being. But they did present the situation as much more easy / accessible as it was. For me the car arrangements meant I was stuck at home, all day, every weekday. Except for a two hour language class once a week. I couldn't make friends because I couldn't go anywhere - no car access and the limited bus access meant I had no access to a gym, a cafe, a shoping mall (there was a supermarket in walking distance, again 15 minutes downhill) or the open AP meetings (this was a country where agencies were not needed) and couldn't meet the people I met in my language class because other than walking 3.75 miles to where they lived (one way) I had no way to get to where they were (and the AP closest was in a smiliar situation, no car access)... so no / very limited options to make friends. Sometimes the only person I saw all week (those weeks were I couldn't even get the car to go to classes), other than my HF, were the cleaning lady and the people at the grocery store. You have no idea how frustrating and depressing such a situation can be, even if you "knew" (or think you know, as a second time AP) what you were getting into. Imagine being in a foreign country, full of possibilies but you can't do anything, only look, not touch. From a fairly independet adult (US AP, university student, living on my own for five years) I basically turned into a child again - always having to ask if I could do something or somebody could take me somewhere. And often be told no. You can only take so many walks in the woods to get out of the house. How often can you walk to the grocery store for interaction with other people? I am sure it can work. I know it worked for the AP I met at the language class whose HF had similar car arrangements (she was closer to a bus stop though and her HF paid for a bus pass). At least I know she completed her year and I never heard her complain. Though that might have been part of her culture (Thai), I cannot say. Of course I only saw her for 10 minutes before and after classes, after we were dropped off and while waiting to be picked up again. [quote][quote]Would you stay at your home for a year without unlimited access to a car?[/quote] I would if that was the situation I had been offered and I had accepted[/quote] I want to dare you to try it. I don't think you can imagine how hard that is. You are in a country that is not your home country. You are living in a family that is not your family, you are basically living with strangers. Imagine your work sending you to Antarctica for a year, where you are stuck in a research facility 24/7, with four other researchers who don't speak your native language and don't share your culture and traditions. You only work 6 to 10 hour days and have the rest of the day off, time in which you can clean, do your laundry, watch tv or Skype with your family at home. Every once in a while they will allow you on a helicopter and fly you to Ushuaia - if they feel like it and if the don't? Too bad. You accepted the job. Now you HAVE to be happy, no cabin fever allowed. You don't like the people you work with? Your problem. Homesickness? Thinking about quitting and going back home? But you accepted! You KNEW what you were getting into! You should have known how isolated you would be and how that would make you feel. Can't have the cake and eat it. APs rematch over much, much less. And then it's their fault because "they knew what they were getting into and transportation is nothing the HF has to offer" :roll: [/quote]
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