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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I am also a fed attorney, but I work an early schedule.

I think some of this is simply how you prioritize your family time.  My kids are older, but we have a sit down family dinner 6-7 times a week.  I say that with no judgment of people who do it differently.  There are many other aspects of my parenting that are an epic fail.  But for me, this is my "sacred" family time.  It is part of how I was raised.  It is harder in the sping when kids are going off to sports practices -- so sometimes a kid (or two) is missing, but we do our best.

For me, I like to feed our AP.  I'm cooking for 5 already, so cooking for 6 is easy.  She's sometimes bringing a kid home from sports, so this is just how it works for us.

When the kids were younger, our APs worked 45 hours per week with 3 young kids.  That is an EXHAUSTING job.  I've done it myself, and it is WAY more taxing (to me, anyway) than working at work.  So, I always felt like the least I could do was cook the poor girl a decent dinner at the end of the day.  Yes, I'm tired.  So is she.  It's all give and take, but I think it starts with being appreciative of the work your AP is doing.  We've had a few clunkers -- but in general, we've had mostly responsible, hardworking girls.

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I think the resentment builds when the AP goes immediately to her room after her work shift is over and does not come out to dinner until HM comes and knocks on her door  and tells her that dinner is on the table. During the meal, AP makes no effort to participate in conversation and looks constantly at her phone. After AP is finished with her meal, she leaves the table without a word spoken while everyone is still eating and goes immediately back to her room.  She does not contribute at all to setting the table, clearing the table, putting dishes in the dishwasher etc.

I think that expressing courtesy from both sides goes a long way ... host family extending hospitality with home cooked meal while AP shows appreciation by saying thank you and chipping in.

PP 08:14 : When you cooked your AP a decent dinner, what did she do or not do?

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