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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I've never turned down a gift or bonus. But I get how you feel. Maybe it's for different reasons than me. I have emotional problems that stem from childhood. My mother was too harsh and never gave me a gift unless there were strings attached to it. I never felt taken care of or appreciated through my teens, 20's and now 30's. I've learned to put on a very tough and strong appearance. I never except help, even when desperately needed.

So when a employer or boyfriend chooses to spoil me with generous gifts...I feel so unworthy of them. It feels uncomfortable that someone is doing something nice for me. That's why I'm a nanny, always willing to nurture and give, give, give everything of my self to my nanny family.

How I've learned to squash these feelings is to know that the gift giver is getting pleasure from giving you this gift. You are making them happy to receive and enjoy the gift. [/quote]

This is quite similar to me. I am ok with receiving chocolates and a nice, well thought out card but anything more and I feel guilty and weird about it. I think my current nanny family will get me something extravegent and yet I know it isn't something they feel I deserve. [b]They just want  to keep me as are worried they won't find anyone else to do the weird shift patterns they require.[/b] [/quote]

OK, so? That [i]is[/i] a reason that you deserve it! It is very hard to find someone who can do the job you do, and they are grateful that you do it and are reliable. Not all employers are warm people who do praise and appreciation well. Sometimes the best they can do is money. It may not warm your heart, too, but it indicates that they know that it's a hard job.[/quote]

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