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[quote=Anonymous]OP I have generally been the primary attachment for my kids and worked PT when they were really little. But my younger child was deeply attached to the nanny who cared for her for most of her first 3 years; to the point that my DH used to joke that he was a "distant third" in our daughter's book.

I actually think this did hurt DH's feelings some but we all knew that it was/is totally natural.  I don't think there's anything our nanny could have done differently and she definitely didn't create the situation--we did, by working outside the home, and hiring her.  Our youngest also used to cry when it was time for our nanny to leave, and needed hugs and kisses and reassurance that she'd be back--but this never hurt or upset me because I used to take care of kids, too, and know that sometimes it's just like this.  In the end I felt great that we had hired someone our kids loved so much.

So, I don't think there's much you can do aside from being sensitive and thoughtful which you clearly are.

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