Reply to Any suggestions for dealing with a child that is starting to behave poorly more frequently?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is your weekly schedule with him, and what is your normal routine after you walk home from school? How much distance is the walk?[/quote]

The walk is about half a mile. The schedule is that I pick him up from school, he gets his things, puts on his jacket and goes to the restroom.he gets to choose what to do first and whether he wants me to hold his bag or not. He usually does not want to go to the restroom even if he has to, but he does eventually go when I point out that we can only leave after he goes since the walk takes sometimes 20 min and we had some accidents before.

Then we walk home. As soon as we get there I make him a snack that he always gets to choose from the options his parents allow. Usually I also eat a snack with him. Then we clean up together and after that its free play for 2 to 3 hours,depending on the day. I try to bring fun activities like crafts, coloring pages, games but he almost always wants to play the same games where he tries to control everything I do. I try to discourage him from them by offering other options but he is rarely interested in anything else. In the past he was more open to suggestions, but now he rarely wants to do anything I suggest. He also always wants me to play along with whatever it is he wants. He has never played independently while with me.

I don't push anything related to play time because this is supposed to be a relaxing time for him after being in school all day. I also almost always suggest that we go to the park or play with his friends after school but he very rarely agrees. He agreed to play with friends after school maybe 3 times in nearly a year and going to the park and a children's museum about 4 times total. [/quote]
Thank you, OP, for answering my questions. I can now clearly see that your change is over-burdened with so many options and all the decisions he is being forced to make. If his parents are doing the same thing, the poor child doesn't have a chance of a happy childhood.

He needs to have zero options/decisions to make, except during his playtime, either alone or with a peer. Responsible adults should never be taking orders from a child. He's so confused.

Plan a consistent daily routine and stick to it, unless he's home sick. Once or maybe twice a week, he should have another child over for a play date. The same day of the week would be most ideal.[/quote]

Wow, that's overboard.  I offer choices, but I only offer 2, and I don't care which the child chooses.  I don't offer choices about things like route home (always the same), but I ask would ask whether he wants to step over cracks of hop, walk, hop, walk.  By offering a child limited (age-appropriate) choices, you build the child's self-confidence and independence.[/quote]

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