Reply to Any suggestions for dealing with a child that is starting to behave poorly more frequently?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is your weekly schedule with him, and what is your normal routine after you walk home from school? How much distance is the walk?[/quote]

The walk is about half a mile. The schedule is that I pick him up from school, he gets his things, puts on his jacket and goes to the restroom.he gets to choose what to do first and whether he wants me to hold his bag or not. He usually does not want to go to the restroom even if he has to, but he does eventually go when I point out that we can only leave after he goes since the walk takes sometimes 20 min and we had some accidents before.

Then we walk home. As soon as we get there I make him a snack that he always gets to choose from the options his parents allow. Usually I also eat a snack with him. Then we clean up together and after that its free play for 2 to 3 hours,depending on the day. I try to bring fun activities like crafts, coloring pages, games but he almost always wants to play the same games where he tries to control everything I do. I try to discourage him from them by offering other options but he is rarely interested in anything else. In the past he was more open to suggestions, but now he rarely wants to do anything I suggest. He also always wants me to play along with whatever it is he wants. He has never played independently while with me.

I don't push anything related to play time because this is supposed to be a relaxing time for him after being in school all day. I also almost always suggest that we go to the park or play with his friends after school but he very rarely agrees. He agreed to play with friends after school maybe 3 times in nearly a year and going to the park and a children's museum about 4 times total. [/quote]

He needs to play independently.  Let him choose what you will do, but at the first sign that he's trying to control how you play, you stop, tell him that he doesn't get to tell other people how to play, and you turn around and read a book or do something else.  After 5 minutes of quiet behavior, you can turn around and ask if he wants to play with you again, but that's 5 minutes when he's quiet, not yelling, not crying, nothing.  By allowing him to get away with bossing you around, you are teaching him that he has authority with everything.  I'm all for allowing a child choices, but I only offer 2 at that age, and both are acceptable to me.[/quote]

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