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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds a bit like maybe they've not quite realised how much work having kids would be. But it also sounds like they have a great support system, which is fantastic. Grandparents and often aunts/uncles are usually heavily involved in raising the children where I come from, so to me at least that seems normal, if a bit excessive in your NF.

But seeing as how it does throw off their schedule and makes the kids miserable, maybe you could talk about it with your MB and DB. Say that the kids do not have a stable routine and don't know what to expect, so it makes them anxious, which is not good for a 2yo's. Maybe suggest that the family, if at all possible, come with a more definitive plan of childcare, like on Mondays Grandma has them, on Wednesday Auntie Jo, etc, so you can always tell the children that it is Uncle Bob's day today - you can build up their excitement and they will feel safe knowing that what they hear promised actually happens.

Also suggest that all caregivers abide by the same rules - little to no junk food, bedtime at a certain hour, etc. Again, this throws the kids off and ultimately hinders their development. Look up a few specific things, like lack of sleep or solid naps, unbalanced diet, etc, and what it does to 2yo's.

When you speak to them, don't make it about you and how hard this makes your job (though it does) but about the kids and their development. Obviously don't be patronising and superior. Chances are your NF already sees a problem with junk food and naps, so they'll be receptive.  [/quote]

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