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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks everyone for the (mostly) helpful replies.

Re: my wife staying home and caring for the child.  Believe me, this has been considered at great length.  My wife knows I am behind her 100% no matter what she decides.  She actually turned down the job at first because she thought she wanted to stay home.  Only after she turned it down did she realize that she did want to continue her career, even though it would be painful at first to leave the baby.  Luckily they took her after she reconsidered.

She has always been career-minded and independent and she never thought she'd want to stay home with kid(s).  She continued to feel that way for the first 3 months of baby's life.  Then something sort of changed.  I think it has to do with the fact that she had to completely devote herself to the baby.  Learning breast-feeding, figuring out what she needs all the time, etc.  I don't know - it's hard to explain.  It's almost like she totally immersed herself in the baby-life that she almost couldn't imagine anything else.

She's still uncertain whether she wants to work or stay home long term.  (I think once she gets back to work she will realize she misses that part of her life, but we'll see).  The coming year at this job should answer that once and for all for her.  It's basically her dream job at a prestigious place that will allow her to almost pick her next job, if she wants to keep working.

Next Noob question...  We're using a nanny agency, whose fee is apparently 10% of the nanny's first year gross salary.  That seems like a lot.  But probably worth it, just wondering if that's pretty much normal?

Thanks again all.[/quote]
Please explain how being your child's primary caregiver makes you less "independent." Wouldn't your paycheck be equally shared?

I'm sorry OP, but I get the clear sense that you're "nudging" her back to the office, because outsourcing childcare is to your financial benefit. Your wife clearly understands no hired help will love this child as much as she does. The early foundation years are the most important years. Please reconsider your priorities and tell her you know full time parenting is the hardest, but most important job there is. This baby needs stable, competent and loving care. Now who can do that best in your situation?[/quote]

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