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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MB here.  Reference letters aren't useless, but they in no way substitute for direct conversations with references.

If I am interviewing multiple candidates, with equivalent experience/rates/credentials etc...   the one with references with whom I am able to speak directly will win every time.

A candidate who cannot back up written references with direct phone conversations that support what's in the written reference will take a back seat.

You can ignore this feedback but you will be at a disadvantage if a prospective employer only has written references to go on.  (Or you're dealing with an inexperienced, foolish, or desperate employer.)[/quote]

OP here and I am sorry if I didn't make it clear that, of course, I would provide a way for my future employers to get in touch with my current employers.  [b]I never for a moment expected to rely on just a written letter of recommendation.[/b]  Again, all I am trying to do is hedge any bad feeling my current employers may have when I do give notice with a letter stating exactly what they thought of me WHILE I was working for them.

People get nasty when you tell them you are leaving - especially in a nanny situation where they feel that everyone should have a life long devotion to their very special child/children.  My thought, and advice I have received, is to get a letter now while everyone is happy and hedge any bad feeling that may crop into their phone conversation with my future employers.

Seriously, this is discussed so often on this forum.  I am honestly surprised that I have to explain myself over and over again.

I just asked how to approach the subject with my current employers.  Sheesh...

[b]Again, I AM NOT RELYING ON ONLY A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION.[/b]  I will provide contact numbers for my current employers and encourage my future employers to call them and speak to them.   As well, I would like to give them a letter written by my current employers BEFORE they know I am leaving that gives me a glowing review.  [/quote]

The problem is, as an MB, it wouldn't matter to me how glowing a reference letter was unless the call was equally glowing.  There are a lot of reasons a nanny could have a wonderful reference letter written during her employment and have a reference call that didn't reflect the same enthusiasm that fall squarely on the nanny.  So if you're getting the letter because you think the call [i]might not be glowing[/i] getting a glowing reference letter now isn't really going to make a difference.  And if the call is glowing, then the letter was unnecessary in the first place.  Which doesn't mean you shouldn't ask.  But it sounds like you are worried about approaching your current employers because they make take it the wrong way, and so a couple of MBs have pointed out, it's probably not worth it for a letter that isn't going to help you much.  But at the end of the day, you should do what you feel is right for you.

That said, if you want a letter, I think you pretty much just ask.  If you can come up with some job you are applying for (maybe a new weekend job?), it might be better received.  Or, as I suggested upthread, maybe as for a written review instead - they might be more willing to do that without bad feelings and it will serve the same purpose later on.[/quote]

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