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[quote=Anonymous]Well, I'm the OP of this post.

We had the conversation about ending the relationship, we gave her the letter, which used most of the suggested language of the poster here (thank you!), we told her of the full severance package we were giving her, etc...

I also found a really great job prospect for her, spent a long time giving her a great reference to this prospective new employer (friend of a friend who's looking for a nanny for her baby), and thought it was a fantastic lead.  The job is 15 minutes from where she lives (closer than we are), they speak her native language, they would match her salary (for only 1 child), and they seemed delightful.

But our nanny has decided she doesn't want to work again until July and she only wants a live-in position (much harder to find) and she only wants babies, and, and, and...   And she's totally acting as though it's my job to find her the job of her dreams.

She is also not respecting our request to not discuss her departure w/ the kids (we want to handle informing them, and don't want to do that until the nanny's last couple of days.  We do not want weeks of drama and tension in their world.)  Nor does she seem to be able to contain her emotions so she's bursting into tears every night when she leaves.

So I am saddened that despite all of our efforts this may not end well. I won't have my children subjected to weeping and dramatics every day, and I cannot be expected to devote myself to finding the job of her dreams when she's not willing to even talk to prospective employers I did find.

Ugh.

Just a vent - not really a question.  We spent weeks trying to figure out how to do this in the gentlest way possible and it seems like wasted energy.  Maybe I should have chosen the brutal but clean route - written her a check and demanded our key back.  It would have been really harsh for her but it would have been a lot cleaner and faster.

I know getting fired is awful - I've been there.  But she just isn't behaving like a grown-up and it is seriously undermining the goodwill behind everything we were trying to do to minimize how tough this might be for her.  [/quote]

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