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Reply to "New nanny doing well but some issues I need opinions on dealing with"
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[quote=Anonymous]I think I get what you are saying here, OP. I imagine that there is a lot of tension when she is with your family for the evening because she is around your family, but not really interacting with you. I can imagine that this would be uncomfortable with any adult in your home, but particularly so with someone who has such an important role in your children's lives when she is on duty. I think that you need to figure out what you are comfortable with and present that to her so that there is just no confusion. I think that I would tell her that she is welcome to join your family in family activities (i.e. watching television together in the evening), but if she chooses to do that, then she is expected to act as another adult member of the family. If she needs a break and doesn't want to participate in family activities, that's fine, but then she needs to be in another part of the house. It doesn't have to be her room. For example, she is fine to study at the kitchen table while you are watching television. But if she chooses to watch television with the family, then it is expected that she will let your 3 y/o climb into her lap or whatever. Yes. It is expecting her to work in her downtime, but being part of a family with small children takes work. If she wants to be part of your family, then she has to do some of the work. If she doesn't want to do any of the work, then she needs to spend her downtime doing her own thing. And if you don't want her to necessarily be part of your family, then you should be upfront with her about that too. And she can choose to spend her free time on her own or move to another family. Worst case scenario, she leaves, and you know what to say to your next employee about what to expect during her off duty time, and you can find someone who meshes better with your family. [/quote]
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