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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I love our current nanny but I honestly (and by honestly I mean don't flame me, it's just my opinion) don't see the value in keeping the same nanny for your kids whole childhood. If it happens great but I don't see it as being any more or less beneficial than other options.

Stability and reliability are always beneficial. This has been proven over and over again. Our children's primary care-giving relationships - with the mother, father, grandparent, nanny - lay the foundation for their future ability to form emotional attachments.

I understand your reasoning, but a nanny is just a caregiver. They aren't family, they aren't there for the important stuff. I can see just as much benefit in having multiple nannies so child learns that there are many people out there that can care for them and help them and love them. Like I said, I just don't see one side or the other as being better or worse.

"Just a caregiver" is the difference between life and death to a dependent child for 50 hours a week. (ie "Nanny has never forgotten to get me at school", "Nanny has never not fed me or made me afraid") so the child can depend on the nanny and feel secure - all this starts all over again with a new nanny.

It isn't about family or long tern relationships (so don't be threatened) it is about the reliability and consistency of constant care.

A swinging door policy can never be good for anyone but especially bad for a very dependent being.

Google a few studies.[/quote]

This is simply not true.

The issue isn't that the same nanny is the best nanny over the long term. The right nanny for an infant may not be the right nanny for a 4 year old and a NF should not keep an infant nanny for their 4 year old if the fit no longer fits.

It so happens that my DD's nanny has been her sole nanny for her entire life (DD is about to turn 6) and it has been wonderful for us. But there is no way we could have known this when DD was one, or three, and my DD would have been just fine if we had to make a change because her nanny wasn't the most suitable caregiver for her for whatever reason (including that the nanny only wished to work with infants, or whatever.)

In our case, we took it a year at a time. We had conversations, long ones, about DD's upcoming year and challenges and whether our nanny felt like staying on. Of course, I'm glad she did. Of course, I see her as a partner and as close to a co parent as a non spouse can be in the raising of my DD, but that is something that evolved over time and if it hadn't gone that way, it would not have been my fault nor my nanny's. Jobs change and people change. That is normal. One day, we will no longer need a nanny or our nanny will no longer need our family. When that happens, we will all be sad but we will all wish each other well and move on to the next healthy caregiver relationship.

Consistency for consistency's sake is foolish. Solid, appropriate and healthy relationships are the gold standard. If that means a NF changes nannies every year or two, so be it. Same thing for a nanny who changes families. The important thing is fit and mutual happiness.

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