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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you are there an extended time when nanny arrives.

If possible change things so you leave immediately when nanny comes or as soon as nanny comes your "off duty" so to speak.

I'm thinking this is a case of you needing to step back.

That means nanny helps daughter get ready etc. not if she  fusses and tantrums enough mom will give in

As for your youngest, he is at an age prime for separation anxiety.[/quote]

First of all, OP, I think you should give it a few more months. Four months in (especially with part time) has not given enough time to allow bonds to form; some kids bond right away with nannies, others need more time. Also, I've noticed in my career a very very distinct difference in how well the morning goes based on how much time the parents spend home while I'm there before leaving. Most parents I've worked with leave within five minutes of my arrival. Those mornings always go very easily. Other families I worked with, one or both parents would hang around for 30-60 minutes before leaving. Those were always hardest, for the reasons you and this PP describe.

My client for the past two years has been a leave-right-after-nanny-arrives family. My previous client was not. They had an infant (3.5 months when I started) and a preschooler (who turned 3 shortly before I started). I arrived at 7:30am. Everyone left the house at 8:30; parents went to work, and I walked (with baby in sling) preschooler to school. I spent the day with the baby, and picked up preschooler at 4pm, parents were usually home by 4:30. So, I had very little one on one time with the preschooler.

When I arrived, MB was almost always trying to nurse baby and get herself ready. DB was brushing his teeth, getting dressed, etc. I was expected to help 3 year old DD get dressed, etc. When I first started, she was very shy of me, and refused to let me help her get ready, which was understandable. But by the time it got to the point where she should've felt comfortable with me (1-2 months in) she had already learned that if she just cried and begged daddy to be the one to get her dressed, do her hair, etc, she would get her way. I worked with them for one year, and the entire time it was always the same. I never had a chance to really develop a great relationship with her. Even during the brief times we had together sans parents, I always tried to engage her in conversations about her interests, reading, games, etc. She frequently gave me the silent treatment, which was terrible. Sometimes we had great conversations and I thought things were improving, but the very next morning if I tried to help her get ready she would scream and cry that "I wasn't doing it right" and "daddy needs to do it." obviously I felt terrible about it, but there wasn't much I could do.

If her parents had either changed my start time to just before everyone left the house, or not given into her demands, things might have been different. I understand the idea of an extra pair of hands to help in the morning, and I tried my best to be helpful and useful during that time (usually either preparing baby food, snacks, cleaning up after their breakfast, doing dishes). But ultimately MB and DB did 99% of the work with the kids during that first hour, and all the chores I did during that time could've easily been done during the baby's naps later.

I will say that I did develop a great relationship with the baby within 2-3 months, but it was exponentially more difficult with the preschooler.[/quote]

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