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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MB here -- this is what my nanny does:

1) Asks if it is OK before a friend/relative comes to my house with their child
2) Asks if it is OK to run a specific errand that would be out of the norm (i.e. taking a cousin to the airport)

This is what she doesn't ask about:

1) Meeting up with friends/relatives in a public place that my kids would want to go to anyway, such as a park, Chickfila, etc.  She may or may not mention it later.  Odds are she won't mention it because it won't stand out as important unless something particularly funny/upsetting happened.

2) Running normal errands, like taking the kids through the bank drive thru.

My kids are old enough to report back what has happened during the day, so there isn't anything my nanny could hide at this point.  If anything was excessive, like the kids were going everyday to run errands or they were constantly meeting up with nanny's friend, then it would be a problem.  But what they do now seems to fit well within the natural flow of their day and the whole point of the nanny is that I want my kids have a natural flow to their day.  If I were home with them, we'd be meeting up with friends and going to the bank so I'm OK with it (to a certain extent).[/quote]

Well, meeting your friends and meeting a nanny's friends might be different.  You know your friends, but don't know your nanny's friends.  I think a lot depends on the individual MB and her level of comfort. Some wouldn't want this to happen, and would not be ok with errands.  When the nanny is on the clock getting paid for her time socializing with friends and family and running errands with the kid in tow could be seen as a sub-standard performance of duties.   I think the point of this thread is disclosure. If there is an explicit understanding that this is OK to do then there is no problem.  If it's a lie by omission then it's a different situation.[/quote]

Exactly how do you tell the difference between a "lie of omission" and something the nanny just didn't think warranted a report?

If MB asks what we did in a day I'll tell her we saw ABC playmate of DC and went to XYZ park; I probably won't mention the three minutes we spent at the pharmacy, not because I think it was wrong but because I think it's irrelevant. If she explicitly told me it was important, I would begin including it (and looking for a new job).[/quote]

Oh come on, PP.  You really see no difference between spending three minutes at the pharmacy and planning a meet up in advance with a personal friend and failing to mention it to your MB?  Really?

Things I would not consider a lie of omission and don't need to know about: stopping at the CVS next to my kid's music class to grab shampoo/tampons/a bottle of water or some other quick item you need right away; running into your mom on the street and stopping with the kids for a few minutes to say hi.

Things I would consider a lie of omission: failing to mention you planned a "play date" in advance with your friend or relative and kids my kid has never met before; failing to mention you took my child shopping for ALL your groceries or some other similar time consuming shopping or errand trip instead of taking my kid to the park in the neighborhood.

Does that help?[/quote]

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