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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. It would be like me lying that I took my charge to an educational museum when I would be taking her to the zoo because I feel guilty she won't be having fun or other guilt reasons. I would get fired. It makes me rethink the family I work for and if I can trust her anymore. [/quote]

The difference is parents have an absolute right to know where their children are.  If your MB knows you'd babysit either way, it doesn't really matter where she is as long as she is reachable.

More importantly, though, I am not sure that you have enough info to know that she is lying.  I've been to work events multiple times that my mom and grandmother would describe as a "parties" but absolutely fall into the category of work obligation.  And I've had business dinners with friends/social acquaintances that are definitely about business.  The lines can be blurred sometimes and without knowing more about your MB's work, it's not totally clear she's being dishonest.  Nor is she obligated to explain the nuances of the relevant distinctions to anyone (you or her family for that matter).  If there is a pattern of her lying to you about things that matter, I'd agree that there are some red flags.  But she doesn't really owe you all the details of her whereabouts in the evenings especially since you have indicated you'd babysit either way, as long as she is reachable.  (And FWIW, if an MB posted on here that a nanny was lying about why she couldn't babysit outside her regular hours, there would be dozens of posters pointing out that it's none of the MB's business what the nanny does with her off hours, so it's not really a double standard - that is VERY different about lying about something related to the kids which I think is an immediately fireable offense.)[/quote]

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