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Reply to "Anyone lese think this Nanny Forum message board has gotten absolutely ridiculous?! "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's commonly known as: "The Love Hate Triangle" My kid loves the nanny. I love what she does. But I hate that it's not me doing it. [/quote] So you don't think there is any hope for rational discussions and meaningful sharing of advice between nannies and mother-employers? While I can see that the basis of the nanny-mother relationship is fraught with possible landmines, I cannot see why we can't overcome it on an faceless, nameless message board. [/quote] There is the tension fraught nanny-mother dynamic that we each personally deal with, but I think this forum is also a sea of hostility because of the class and race issues, as well as the power dynamic that is much more apparent in this forum than any other. I honestly believe that a lot of MBs think they are inherently better than me, and it colors my perception of everything they say, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. MBs have some perceptions of nannies, that I'm sure colors their own perceptions, and its part of why we can't get along. Someone is always ready to pull the trigger. It steams me to read posts in the main forum about how it is literally unthinkable to live in this area on less than some ridiculous 6 figure income, then come here and see them call me entitled and crazy to ask for $20/hour, even though I have a degree, lot of experience, and a fabulous work history. I'm just not sure how the two thoughts can reconcile in their mind (its impossible to live on less than $200k/year, but a nanny is crazy to think she should earn more than $40k) without dehumanizing us in their mind. They have rules and standards for themselves, but they go out the window for us, and yes, I take issue with that and can't respect them because of it. We are mothers and wives too. We're doing the best we can for our families too. There is more to our lives than meeting the needs of your family, and I really think some of you forget that. Sometimes we have to quit for the better paying job. Sometimes we need to move on for a better fit. Sometimes it makes me mad to come into work, find out your kid has strep/lice/a stomach flu, and know that You've put my family and my kid at risk, without even a thought of them, only yourself. It makes me mad when you ask me to drive into work on snowy black ice covered roads, so that you can "tele"work in your pjs, and you didn't even bother to shovel the walk. It makes me mad to know that if I broke my ankle climbing your stairs, you'd probably replace me, even though its your fault. [/quote]
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