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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is tough because you have invested three years into this relationship already, and finding the right nanny for your family is tough.  Assuming she is a good caregiver to your child I recommend  a talk with your nanny outlining your concerns with specific examples.  I would also amend your contract to address any resolutions that come out of the discussion.  As previous posters have said, unlimited sick days doesn't make sense (we give our nanny three days and whatever she doesn't use we pay her for).  I would recommend a monthly discussion to review progress toward the improvements you need to see.  I give it less than a 50% chance but if she is good with your child it is worth trying to salvage the relationship.  As an aside, she may not be a great nanny for older kids and starts to lose interest in the job.  Some nannies really are better with babies.[/quote]

This is OP.  What is the reason it would be tough to find the right nanny for my family?   Are you saying nannies do not like working more than one kid at a time?   Or because my kids are 3 and 1?

She is actually good with the kids and that is why she is with us.   She is an older lady.  When she started with us she was amazing.   She helped us a lot and I could not be happier.  Since then she was hit by a couple of major personal losses including a death of a family member.  She was also getting more and more comfortable with our family and getting older herself.  She has been nannying for the past 15 years and finally came to realization that she does not really have money saved up for her old age and no longer has the family structure to support her.   She is generally not in good spirits because of that. As a fellow human person I feel for her situation and try to help.  I do feel though that she has a certain resentment to us since she perceives we are happy and living well[/quote]

OP, I took from the pp that it is tough to find the right nanny.  There just aren't a lot of great nannies, and even when you do find a great nanny, the family and nanny aren't always a great fit.

As a nanny, I do not discuss my finances with my employers.  I think what this woman is doing is emotionally blackmailing you with her woes.  Yes, it is the right thing to treat people as we want to be treated, but you also have those who will take advantage of others.  You are not responsible for her not saving enough for retirement.  It is nice that you want to help her, but you are not responsible for her actions.

At this point, she is taking advantage of your goodness.  It is like any relationship, it started out great, but then the cracks in the relationship start showing.  And I hear you saying she used to be great, but now it is different.  You can talk to her and see if things change, but if the woman is no longer meeting your needs and is now becoming a drain, it is time to move on.  Stop living in the past of how well she used to be and ask yourself if she is still a great fit for your family.  A nanny should be helpful to a family, and not a burden.

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